Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
