We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
