why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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