after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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