Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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