Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
