It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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