Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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