Swine flu. Run for my life!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
People in love make me want to vomit
even my farts smell like vagina
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
