i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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