dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
