i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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