Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
