So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
