I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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