You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
