Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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