ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
