Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
