If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
