I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
