I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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