My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
