I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
