I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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