Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
