don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
