going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
