I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
