Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
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