they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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