At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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