so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
