lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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