i need an iv and a liver transplant
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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