you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
