They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
