How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You can't motorboat a personality
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
