Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
