I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
