so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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