I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
