after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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