I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
