If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
