I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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