so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
