Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
