normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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