we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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