We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
