They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
